My maid-of-honor was a protocol officer in the Air Force. That means that she was required to know exactly what should be done when and for whom, along with what music should be playing and which flags should be displayed. While I did think it was kind of cool that she routinely rubbed elbows with the President, the Vice President, and about a zillion foreign dignitaries (one of whom smuggled in some sort of Uzbekistani melon in the diplomatic pouch, which she then had to slice up and serve - what a waste of her Physics degree), the details of protocol bored me to tears.

On the other hand, I love knowing more about what to do and say to put people at ease and make them like me. I hear that’s called “charm”; I’m still working on acquiring it.

At its core, Were You Raised by Wolves? is about being charming. It’s about doing what will make other people want to be around you - not by telling jokes (even good ones) or buying them beer (although it won’t hurt) or by laughing at their jokes (even if they stink).

Wait a minute, you say. How can making my bed make people want to be around me? Who gives a damn if I can boil an egg? Is it really that important to know how to cook a turkey?

Sadly, all of these things - and many more covered by author Christie Mellor - are all about appearances, and like it or not, appearances matter. If people are so put off by what they see on the surface - including your unmade bed - they are not going to bother to find out what a wonderful person you are on the inside. Sorry, but it’s true. Nobody has time to mess with someone who seems like an unkempt jerk because probably, even deep down, they really ARE an unkempt jerk.

That said, therein lies the problem with this gem of a book. All the unkempt jerks who should be reading it won’t read it because they are convinced that they’re perfect. Or, even if they realize they aren’t perfect, they’re perfectly happy to remain ignorant of the life lessons that have been condensed into one extremely useful yet screamingly funny book.

Seriously, I can think of at least a dozen people off the top of my head - people I LIKE - who could benefit from this book, but who would get their panties (or boxers, as it were) in a knot at the mere suggestion that they could learn a thing or two.

In any case, I’m glad to report that I learned a thing or two (hundred). Sure, I skimmed the cooking parts (you knew I would) and I still keep my coffee beans in the freezer, but there were plenty of other areas that I read and re-read and took to heart. I wish more people would do the same.

And my mother - who would probably love to have a Manhattan or two with Christie Mellor - was the one who told me about the effect of bed-making years ago. They’re both right. Don’t believe us? Try it yourself.

For more reviews of Were You Raised by Wolves?, check out Parent Bloggers Network!

My one-sentence review of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook:  This book ought to be standard issue upon discharge from the hospital for every mother.

I’m not just saying that because I think Heather and Whitney, authors of the handbook and the original Rookie Moms themselves, are insightful writers with sharp wits and loads of enthusiasm.  This book caused me to reflect on my past rookie years and realize not just how far I’ve come, but how much I can still learn from other creative parents.

First of all, I want to define the term “rookie mom” as I see it.  To me, each time you bring a new kid home, you’re starting a rookie year.  Kids aren’t all alike (duh) - just because you’ve already got one at home doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be a bit flummoxed now and then by the next one.  Or the one after that.  With each new child come new challenges - including how to fill those long, looooong days.  You can’t just toss them all outside or down to the basement and expect them to entertain each other (like our parents did with us, right?).

So The Rookie Mom’s Handbook is for every mom.  I’m in my third rookie year, and I got a bunch of great ideas from this handy book.  Here’s one for every month:

• #8 - Write a “did-do” list. Genius!  I still sit down at night after all the kids are in bed and wonder what the hell I did all day.  A “did-do” list puts in writing all of those menial tasks.  It’s a good list to show your partner, who might also be wondering what the hell you did all day.
• #44 - Photograph a nasty crying jag. Sounds mean, but it’s hilarious after the fact.  Also makes for a great blog meme.
• #59 - Take a walk on the wild side. Exactly what it sounds like - take some funny pictures of your baby in front of construction sites or tattoo parlors.  This one appeals to my warped sense of humor.
• #71 - Accessorize! You, not the baby.  You aren’t spending money on new outfits for yourself, but jewelry and scarves and boots are always a good fit.
• #104 - Kick off some family traditions. For example, we go to the zoo each year on Easter - a tradition that we started when Tacy was a year old.
• #116 - Heighten the contrast of your photos. I’m kicking myself for not having taken black and white photos with Tacy and CJ, but you can bet I’m going to do it with Oliver (following Heather and Whitney’s guidance, of course).
• #131 - Let baby dress herself. Put some choices within reach (shirt, pants, socks) and let the baby decide by grabbing.  It’ll inoculate you to some of the crazy combos your pre-schooler will dream up down the road.
• #160 - Get your baby a job as a scientist. Tons of research studies out there involving infants; CJ and I did a few.  Plus, you can use the $20 to stop at Sonic for a milkshake afterward.
• #170 - Email your baby. Create a free email account for the babe and send “here’s what you did today” notes.  Instant archive, and much easier than scribbling in a baby book.
• #193 - Pack a sack of surprises. Throw a bunch of goodies (wooden spoons, blocks, rattles, whatever) in a bag and then let the baby unpack it.  The baby has fun discovering what’s inside, and you have fun watching his/her reactions.
• #220 - Go on an anti-shopping trip. Window shopping for babies - except that you go inside, play with all the toys, then leave without buying anything.  I still do this regularly at Pottery Barn Kids. No, it’s not rude.  You’re teaching the baby self-restraint.
• #242 - Get more out of Goodnight Moon. Don’t just read the words; look at the pictures and notice the details.  Hint: Watch the clock(s).

Given that small sampling of activities, it’s easy to see that this book is packed with creativity.  Sure, there are some basic suggestions mixed in (e.g., library, playdate, picnic), but sometimes the most nervous of rookie moms need to start slow.

So even if I’m not able to convince all of the hospitals across the country to include this book with the formula samples they hand out, I can definitely encourage all of my mom friends to buy it for themselves and for the new parents they know.  Yes, it’s that good.

For more reviews of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook, check out Parent Bloggers Network - and participate in this Friday’s Blog Blast too!

When I finished reading Beauty Confidential six months ago, I tucked it into my bag and went shopping at Sephora with Nadine Haobsh’s recommendations in mind. I posted here about the products I’d been using myself and how well I liked them. Now it’s time to revisit my routine - see what’s changed over the past six months and what’s remained the same.

First of all, what am I still using?

Cleanser - Cetaphil Face Wash

Foundation - Bare Escentuals i.d. Bare Minerals

Eyeshadow - NARS eyeshadow in Nepal

Blush - NARS blush in Orgasm

All of these products have stood the test of time. It takes hardly any time at all to apply the foundation, eyeshadow and blush, and it makes an amazing difference in how I look (especially in these postpartum weeks when I would normally expect to look like death warmed over). And they’ve all lasted; I’m just now replacing my initial liter bottle of Cetaphil and my first tiny container of Bare Minerals, and I haven’t even made a dent in the eyeshadow or blush.

What products have I abandoned?

Mascara - Lancome Definicils

Lips - Fusion Beauty LipFusion lip plumper

I know that Lancome Definicils is the gold standard where it comes to mascara, but it was just too much for me. Too thick, too clumpy, too much effort required to make my lashes look natural.

So I switched to another Beauty Confidential recommendation: Kiss Me mascara. It’s a purely lengthening mascara (check the cheat sheet on the mascara display at Sephora to choose a mascara that does what you want it to), and it’s waterproof and smudge proof. Really, it is. The only downside is that it requires gentle persistence to remove it; it doesn’t wipe away as easily as other mascaras.

The lip plumper worked (or at least I think it did), but frankly I got lazy. Lip plumping just isn’t a priority for me, I suppose.

What products have I added?

Shampoo - Aveda Shampure

Conditioner - Terax Original Crema

Perfume - Chanel Coco Mademoiselle

I do like the Aveda Shampure (a Beauty Confidential recommendation), but I have to admit that I’m really smitten with the Aveda Rosemary and Mint shampoo. It smells delicious, and it’s got a slightly cool and tingly sensation - great for warmer weather.

I definitely give Terax Original Crema two thumbs way up. It’s $48 for a liter bottle, but it’s worth it. Plus, you don’t need much for a good application. When my hair was longer, I used two pumps; now I only use one. The liter bottle lasted for the past six months.

Coco Mademoiselle is just yummy. I love perfume, but I always forget to put it on. Now I’m making a conscious effort to do so, and it’s become part of my routine.

Finally, what products do I include in my routine that aren’t Beauty Confidential recommendations, but I love them all the same?

Day Moisturizer - Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough spf 20 and Turbo Booster C Powder

Night Moisturizer - Philosophy Hope In A Jar

Day Eye Cream - Philosophy Dark Shadows

Night Eye Cream - Philosophy Hope In A Tube

Face Primer - Philosophy The Present

What can I say? I love Philosophy’s skin care line. It works for me.

My day moisturizer, When Hope Is Not Enough, isn’t at all greasy, and it really provides great sunscreen coverage - which is important every day all year long, especially at altitude. My night moisturizer, Hope In A Jar, is light and fluffy and absorbs quickly. Personally, I can’t stand heavy creams on my face, even at night, so this one is perfect for me.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I hadn’t been using eye cream consistently until last fall. Even so, after only six months, I can see a difference. I don’t look ten years younger, but the wrinkles around my eyes are greatly diminished.

Finally, I love The Present for those days when I don’t want to put on makeup - I’m going to the gym or out hiking or biking, and it would look kind of silly to get all gussied up just to sweat it off. The Present provides an additional layer of sunscreen, and it evens out my skin tone and eliminates shine.

While finding the right products has been helpful, the greatest result of having read Beauty Confidential is that I’ve established a routine, and I stick to it. Consistency is the key - to great hair, great skin, and feeling good about how I look.

Oh, and one last recommendation? Don’t bother with the brick and mortar Sephora. Order online instead; you’ll get more free samples, and you won’t have to contend with the snooty salespeople who sigh heavily as they deign to ring you up.