Anyone else remember the Hanes pantyhose commercial from the 1970s where the jingle went: “Gentlemen prefer Hanes”? They put the emphasis on the wrong syllable of “prefer” so it sounded to me like they were singing: “Gentlemen ripped her Hanes.” Not very gentlemanly to rip a lady’s pantyhose, if you ask me.

Nowadays, Hanes is about much more than pantyhose - and that’s a good thing because I don’t know anyone under sixty who wears pantyhose. Tee shirts, underwear, socks - for men, women, and children. Search any of the drawers (dresser drawers, I mean) in this house, and you’re bound to find some Hanes products. And thanks to PBN, you’ll find even more Hanes underwear and socks now in Tacy’s and CJ’s dresser drawers.

Besides the luxury of having a few extra pairs of underwear lying around - because tell me, what kid couldn’t use more underwear? - these undies are supposedly wedgie-proof. Neither of my kids have complained of wedgies, but frankly they probably wouldn’t notice. However, *I* notice when their drawers are slipping down and their rear-ends are on display. It’s funny the first few times, but after that? Not so much.

I don’t know how Hanes constructs these waistbands, but they practically adhere to my kids’ bodies. I’m so impressed by how well they stay in place. No more teasing my kids about their exposed cracks; I guess I’ll have to find some other fodder instead.

Plus I like the designs on them and the subtle color details on the waistbands. My mother always bought me plain white underwear, so naturally I want to let my girls have a little color on theirs.

The kids’ socks are awesome too because they’re color-coded based on size. Now I can throw a pile of socks at the girls and let them sort out whose are whose. I love outsourcing household tasks that can’t be messed up.

So while I’m not so fond of the old-style Hanes - the pantyhose or the jingle - I’m definitely a fan of them now. Just wait ’til you get some Hanes on you!