I’m unequivocally on the record as not being a fan of parenting books.  They give me a complex, and really, who needs any more neuroses than they’ve already got?

When I received Amazing Baby in the mail, I thought it would merely be a book of gorgeous photography with a few factoids thrown in for good measure.  But it’s so much more!  This book - and all babies - really are amazing.

The photography IS gorgeous.  Absolutely stunning.  This book could make even a childless menopausal woman’s ovaries ache.  All that clear, smooth baby skin and those bright baby eyes and wide gummy grins - these are some beautiful shots.  Perfect for perusing during the witching hour when you’re convinced your sweet baby has turned into a demon child.

I also love the translucent overlay pages that show bones and internal organs and other anatomical features.  The science geek in me thinks that is totally cool.  It also helps less scientifically-inclined readers visualize the complexity of this tiny little person’s body.  Amazing to think that this tremendously complex being grew INSIDE you from two tiny components.

But what was really unexpected was the tone of the book.  It’s matter-of-fact when discussing anatomical and physiological concepts, and discoveries based on scientific studies.  But it inspires wonderment in the sections on what babies and toddlers can do, and what parents can do to encourage and facilitate development.  It’s not at all preachy or self-righteous or opinionated - it’s “hey, check this out!” or “give this a try!”  Unlike parenting books that advocate the “right” and “wrong” things to do, Amazing Baby is amazing in both its objectivity and its positivity.

I’m watching my third baby approach toddlerhood (sob!), and this book was still a revelation to me.  I’d highly recommend it for all parents, and it would make a stunning shower gift for a first-time mother in particular.  Especially juxtaposed with that pregnancy and parenting tome we all love to hate.

Amazing Baby is published by Firefly Books.  Hear from the author, Desmond Morris, himself in this video, and check out more Amazing Baby reviews on PBN!

This summer, we deemed CJ to be officially potty trained. Surviving umpteen thousand miles in the car without a single accident - I can’t think of a better gauntlet to lay down as a measure of success.

Even so, she still has her moments. Which cause me to have my moments.

Which is why I’m glad to have a copy of Once Upon a Potty to reinforce the lessons I thought she learned back in July.

Once Upon a Potty is a board book and audio CD that comes in both girl and boy editions. The cover is so durable - I wish all of our kids’ board books had a cover like that one. The illustrations are simple, but with charming details that bring Prudence - our potty heroine - and her long-suffering mother to life.

The story is a basic one - from diapers to potty - but the language is what makes this book so entertaining for parents. It just begs to be read with a British accent. Considering how much potty training paraphernalia we parents are bombarded with, a book with a good dose of humor like Once Upon a Potty is a welcome breath of fresh air. Pun intended.

In the past few months, CJ has really begun to enjoy reading, and she’s now added Once Upon a Potty to her regular repertoire. She names off all of her body parts too and laughs at the different ideas of how to use the potty. But the part that I think really helps kids make a connection is how Prudence loves her potty even more after she makes “wee-wee” and “poo-poo” in it. Just a small taste of success can be a fantastic motivator, for kids and adults alike.

CJ and I still have our moments, those when I sigh exasperatedly and direct her to change her clothes. But now we just sit down for another reading of Once Upon a Potty.

For more reviews of Once Upon a Potty, check out the review schedule at PBN!

I’ve always loved lists. As a child, I made lists of the 45 rpm records I owned and all the stamps in my collection. As a teen, I made lists of the outfits I wore each day so as to maintain a regular rotation. And in college, I made a list of all the guys I mashed with at fraternity parties. It wasn’t a long list, but I’m still not exactly proud of it.

So when I had the opportunity to check out a new title from Chronicle Books - My Listography: My Amazing Life in Lists - I jumped at the chance.

How I would have loved to have had this book as a child! It’s such a neat way to take a snapshot of a kid’s likes and dislikes, accomplishments and yet-to-do’s - and I bet it would be a huge help in getting kids to practice writing. After all, who doesn’t like writing about themselves, especially all about everything that’s important to them?

Each set of facing pages includes a list-making prompt and several lines for writing on the right-hand page, with an accompanying illustration on the left-hand page. The illustrations are simple pen and watercolor, in a child-like style themselves.

But it’s the list-making prompts that I love so much. Of course, several of them are fairly standard - favorite games, movies, and TV shows - but there are many more that really require a kid to put on her thinking cap, such as the superpowers you wish you had, the times you got in the most trouble, and the nice things people have done for you.

My Listography is for ages 8 and up. While Tacy’s penmanship and spelling aren’t yet ready to be documented for posterity in this book, it’s going to be a great activity for us to do together. I can ask the questions and write down her answers. Since those answers are going to evolve over time, I think I might buy another few copies and give one to her every other year or so. Then I’ll have to do the same for CJ. And Oliver. Looks like I’ll be raising a family of listmakers.

Really, with as much thought as I’ve been giving to my own answers to the list-making prompts, I should have asked Chronicle to send me a copy for myself too. Old habits die hard.

Getting ready to do anything around here is difficult. It’s like that KPMG commercial where the ranchers are herding cats, except I have less than a quarter-acre and three cats - only two of whom are mobile.

Bedtime isn’t bad - no whining or crying - but it does tend to drag out.

Mornings are really rough though. Yesterday morning, for example, we all woke up about 20 minutes before Tacy had to leave for school. But even when we wake up with plenty of time to spare, all the cats children like to lounge around in their jammies, hoping for waffles.

Naturally, the new books from the ParentSmart/KidHappy series - Ready for Bed and Ready for the Day - are a great fit for us. Not only do they discuss topics that we need to work on, they do it in a way that helps kids understand what needs to be done and why. Parents aren’t trying to squash the fun; there’s just a time and place for it: after you’ve changed your underwear. Heh.

Both of my mobile cats children love these two books. CJ has recently re-acquired a love of being read to, and these books lend themselves well to animated reading (different voices, lots of expression) and to asking her questions about the story and relating it back to our own morning and bedtime routines.

Tacy is expected to read to us each night, and these books are a great fit for her reading level. In fact, she read Ready for the Day out loud to Kyle last night and noted it on her school reading log.

As for me, I’m really picky about children’s books. I cling to my old favorites - Frances and Harry and Corduroy, among many others - and it’s tough for newcomers to win me over. But I really liked these books. First, I love the illustrations. In children’s books, illustrations are key - they tell more of the story than the words do. They’re clear and realistic without being photographic or posed.

The dialogue is better than most children’s books. I’m always critical of dialogue - does that really sound like an actual conversation? - and it’s rare to find realistic dialogue in children’s books. While some of it seemed forced, the large majority of it seemed quite natural.

The sequence of events was important to me. That’s something I try to emphasize to my own cats children - we have to do A before we can do B, so that then we can do C - and it’s helpful to have books that demonstrate that concept so well. I especially liked how, in Ready for the Day, the father told the daughter that because they’d taken care of everything they needed to do, they had ten extra minutes to play before they had to leave. Delayed gratification - it’s a great motivator!

Of course, I loved that one book featured a mother and son and the other book featured a father and daughter, and that families of color were included in both. No need to point out the diversity to my cats children - the idea is that for them, diversity will be integral to their lives and not something to marvel about.

Finally, I love that the books are hardcover. Soft cover books don’t fare well around here, thanks to all of the use they get. Not that I’m complaining that my cats children like to read.

For more blogger reviews of Ready for Bed and Ready for the Day, check out PBN!

If you haven’t already figured this out from reading my personal blog, I’m a fairly laid-back parent where it comes to my children’s development.  Even when it became obvious that CJ would need a little extra help in the language department, I figured it would just take time for her to catch up.

Likewise, my approach to choosing a day-care-slash-preschool for my kids was also pretty basic.  My top priorities were their safety and comfort.  Academics were secondary.

But I’ve always loved reading, and I couldn’t help twitching a bit every time the girls would put down a book and stare raptly up at the TV.  I wanted them to love reading, but I didn’t want to push them into a love for reading.

The LeapFrog Tag Reader has been a great resource in helping them enjoy reading, especially CJ.  Tacy can already read on her own, but CJ is still learning her letters.  She’s not yet sight-reading any words (except her own name), but with this magic pen - the Tag Reader - she’s well on her way.

She runs the electronic pen over the pages of the LeapFrog Tag books (including Olivia, one of her very favorites), and the stories are read TO her - word by word.  She can go back and explore the words on the page at her leisure, which is especially cool and prolongs the reading experience.  It won’t be long before she’s starting to sight-read on her own.

LeapFrog is the first sponsor of the Savvy Source sidebar widget, which links to a quiz on the Savvy Source site that assesses the developmental stages of your child, based on your answers to a series of questions in a dozen different skill categories.

If you haven’t already heard of Savvy Source, you must not read blogs - or you’ve been hiding under a rock.  Several prominent parent bloggers (including a few PBN bloggers) post regularly for Savvy Source about family activities in their respective cities - their Being Savvy initiative.  Beyond that, Savvy Source is a fantastic reference for preschool research, particularly in big cities where preschool selection is an Event with a capital E.

The Savvy Quiz generates personalized recommendations for your child - toys and games and activities - based on their developmental stage.  Any parent of more than one child knows how vastly different they can be in terms of their personal skills, even when they’re the same age.  For example, Tacy was always highly verbal, whereas CJ is extremely physical and artistically inclined.  The same toys, games, and activities that interested Tacy when she was three aren’t necessarily what CJ enjoys now that she’s three.  The Savvy Quiz provides guidance for choosing what’s appropriate for a child’s developmental stage, not just their age.

Finally, the sidebar widget (over there, look to the left), is a revenue generator (whoo!) that bloggers can install on their blogs (main sites and review blogs) to guide their readers over to the Savvy Quiz while earning a few extra bucks.  Right now the widget is invitation-only, but all the PBN bloggers who are participating in this campaign have invitations to dole out - so start sucking up!

My maid-of-honor was a protocol officer in the Air Force. That means that she was required to know exactly what should be done when and for whom, along with what music should be playing and which flags should be displayed. While I did think it was kind of cool that she routinely rubbed elbows with the President, the Vice President, and about a zillion foreign dignitaries (one of whom smuggled in some sort of Uzbekistani melon in the diplomatic pouch, which she then had to slice up and serve - what a waste of her Physics degree), the details of protocol bored me to tears.

On the other hand, I love knowing more about what to do and say to put people at ease and make them like me. I hear that’s called “charm”; I’m still working on acquiring it.

At its core, Were You Raised by Wolves? is about being charming. It’s about doing what will make other people want to be around you - not by telling jokes (even good ones) or buying them beer (although it won’t hurt) or by laughing at their jokes (even if they stink).

Wait a minute, you say. How can making my bed make people want to be around me? Who gives a damn if I can boil an egg? Is it really that important to know how to cook a turkey?

Sadly, all of these things - and many more covered by author Christie Mellor - are all about appearances, and like it or not, appearances matter. If people are so put off by what they see on the surface - including your unmade bed - they are not going to bother to find out what a wonderful person you are on the inside. Sorry, but it’s true. Nobody has time to mess with someone who seems like an unkempt jerk because probably, even deep down, they really ARE an unkempt jerk.

That said, therein lies the problem with this gem of a book. All the unkempt jerks who should be reading it won’t read it because they are convinced that they’re perfect. Or, even if they realize they aren’t perfect, they’re perfectly happy to remain ignorant of the life lessons that have been condensed into one extremely useful yet screamingly funny book.

Seriously, I can think of at least a dozen people off the top of my head - people I LIKE - who could benefit from this book, but who would get their panties (or boxers, as it were) in a knot at the mere suggestion that they could learn a thing or two.

In any case, I’m glad to report that I learned a thing or two (hundred). Sure, I skimmed the cooking parts (you knew I would) and I still keep my coffee beans in the freezer, but there were plenty of other areas that I read and re-read and took to heart. I wish more people would do the same.

And my mother - who would probably love to have a Manhattan or two with Christie Mellor - was the one who told me about the effect of bed-making years ago. They’re both right. Don’t believe us? Try it yourself.

For more reviews of Were You Raised by Wolves?, check out Parent Bloggers Network!

My one-sentence review of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook: This book ought to be standard issue upon discharge from the hospital for every mother.

I’m not just saying that because I think Heather and Whitney, authors of the handbook and the original Rookie Moms themselves, are insightful writers with sharp wits and loads of enthusiasm. This book caused me to reflect on my past rookie years and realize not just how far I’ve come, but how much I can still learn from other creative parents.

First of all, I want to define the term “rookie mom” as I see it. To me, each time you bring a new kid home, you’re starting a rookie year. Kids aren’t all alike (duh) - just because you’ve already got one at home doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be a bit flummoxed now and then by the next one. Or the one after that. With each new child come new challenges - including how to fill those long, looooong days. You can’t just toss them all outside or down to the basement and expect them to entertain each other (like our parents did with us, right?).

So The Rookie Mom’s Handbook is for every mom. I’m in my third rookie year, and I got a bunch of great ideas from this handy book. Here’s one for every month:

• #8 - Write a “did-do” list. Genius! I still sit down at night after all the kids are in bed and wonder what the hell I did all day. A “did-do” list puts in writing all of those menial tasks. It’s a good list to show your partner, who might also be wondering what the hell you did all day.
• #44 - Photograph a nasty crying jag. Sounds mean, but it’s hilarious after the fact. Also makes for a great blog meme.
• #59 - Take a walk on the wild side. Exactly what it sounds like - take some funny pictures of your baby in front of construction sites or tattoo parlors. This one appeals to my warped sense of humor.
• #71 - Accessorize! You, not the baby. You aren’t spending money on new outfits for yourself, but jewelry and scarves and boots are always a good fit.
• #104 - Kick off some family traditions. For example, we go to the zoo each year on Easter - a tradition that we started when Tacy was a year old.
• #116 - Heighten the contrast of your photos. I’m kicking myself for not having taken black and white photos with Tacy and CJ, but you can bet I’m going to do it with Oliver (following Heather and Whitney’s guidance, of course).
• #131 - Let baby dress herself. Put some choices within reach (shirt, pants, socks) and let the baby decide by grabbing. It’ll inoculate you to some of the crazy combos your pre-schooler will dream up down the road.
• #160 - Get your baby a job as a scientist. Tons of research studies out there involving infants; CJ and I did a few. Plus, you can use the $20 to stop at Sonic for a milkshake afterward.
• #170 - Email your baby. Create a free email account for the babe and send “here’s what you did today” notes. Instant archive, and much easier than scribbling in a baby book.
• #193 - Pack a sack of surprises. Throw a bunch of goodies (wooden spoons, blocks, rattles, whatever) in a bag and then let the baby unpack it. The baby has fun discovering what’s inside, and you have fun watching his/her reactions.
• #220 - Go on an anti-shopping trip. Window shopping for babies - except that you go inside, play with all the toys, then leave without buying anything. I still do this regularly at Pottery Barn Kids. No, it’s not rude. You’re teaching the baby self-restraint.
• #242 - Get more out of Goodnight Moon. Don’t just read the words; look at the pictures and notice the details. Hint: Watch the clock(s).

Given that small sampling of activities, it’s easy to see that this book is packed with creativity. Sure, there are some basic suggestions mixed in (e.g., library, playdate, picnic), but sometimes the most nervous of rookie moms need to start slow.

So even if I’m not able to convince all of the hospitals across the country to include this book with the formula samples they hand out, I can definitely encourage all of my mom friends to buy it for themselves and for the new parents they know. Yes, it’s that good.

For more reviews of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook, check out Parent Bloggers Network - and participate in this Friday’s Blog Blast too!

When I finished reading Beauty Confidential six months ago, I tucked it into my bag and went shopping at Sephora with Nadine Haobsh’s recommendations in mind. I posted here about the products I’d been using myself and how well I liked them. Now it’s time to revisit my routine - see what’s changed over the past six months and what’s remained the same.

First of all, what am I still using?

Cleanser - Cetaphil Face Wash

Foundation - Bare Escentuals i.d. Bare Minerals

Eyeshadow - NARS eyeshadow in Nepal

Blush - NARS blush in Orgasm

All of these products have stood the test of time. It takes hardly any time at all to apply the foundation, eyeshadow and blush, and it makes an amazing difference in how I look (especially in these postpartum weeks when I would normally expect to look like death warmed over). And they’ve all lasted; I’m just now replacing my initial liter bottle of Cetaphil and my first tiny container of Bare Minerals, and I haven’t even made a dent in the eyeshadow or blush.

What products have I abandoned?

Mascara - Lancome Definicils

Lips - Fusion Beauty LipFusion lip plumper

I know that Lancome Definicils is the gold standard where it comes to mascara, but it was just too much for me. Too thick, too clumpy, too much effort required to make my lashes look natural.

So I switched to another Beauty Confidential recommendation: Kiss Me mascara. It’s a purely lengthening mascara (check the cheat sheet on the mascara display at Sephora to choose a mascara that does what you want it to), and it’s waterproof and smudge proof. Really, it is. The only downside is that it requires gentle persistence to remove it; it doesn’t wipe away as easily as other mascaras.

The lip plumper worked (or at least I think it did), but frankly I got lazy. Lip plumping just isn’t a priority for me, I suppose.

What products have I added?

Shampoo - Aveda Shampure

Conditioner - Terax Original Crema

Perfume - Chanel Coco Mademoiselle

I do like the Aveda Shampure (a Beauty Confidential recommendation), but I have to admit that I’m really smitten with the Aveda Rosemary and Mint shampoo. It smells delicious, and it’s got a slightly cool and tingly sensation - great for warmer weather.

I definitely give Terax Original Crema two thumbs way up. It’s $48 for a liter bottle, but it’s worth it. Plus, you don’t need much for a good application. When my hair was longer, I used two pumps; now I only use one. The liter bottle lasted for the past six months.

Coco Mademoiselle is just yummy. I love perfume, but I always forget to put it on. Now I’m making a conscious effort to do so, and it’s become part of my routine.

Finally, what products do I include in my routine that aren’t Beauty Confidential recommendations, but I love them all the same?

Day Moisturizer - Philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough spf 20 and Turbo Booster C Powder

Night Moisturizer - Philosophy Hope In A Jar

Day Eye Cream - Philosophy Dark Shadows

Night Eye Cream - Philosophy Hope In A Tube

Face Primer - Philosophy The Present

What can I say? I love Philosophy’s skin care line. It works for me.

My day moisturizer, When Hope Is Not Enough, isn’t at all greasy, and it really provides great sunscreen coverage - which is important every day all year long, especially at altitude. My night moisturizer, Hope In A Jar, is light and fluffy and absorbs quickly. Personally, I can’t stand heavy creams on my face, even at night, so this one is perfect for me.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I hadn’t been using eye cream consistently until last fall. Even so, after only six months, I can see a difference. I don’t look ten years younger, but the wrinkles around my eyes are greatly diminished.

Finally, I love The Present for those days when I don’t want to put on makeup - I’m going to the gym or out hiking or biking, and it would look kind of silly to get all gussied up just to sweat it off. The Present provides an additional layer of sunscreen, and it evens out my skin tone and eliminates shine.

While finding the right products has been helpful, the greatest result of having read Beauty Confidential is that I’ve established a routine, and I stick to it. Consistency is the key - to great hair, great skin, and feeling good about how I look.

Oh, and one last recommendation? Don’t bother with the brick and mortar Sephora. Order online instead; you’ll get more free samples, and you won’t have to contend with the snooty salespeople who sigh heavily as they deign to ring you up.

Long before we had children, Kyle and I knew that we wanted to give them every opportunity to succeed in whatever areas they chose. We weren’t set on particular schools or activities or athletics; instead, our goal was simply to support them in whatever manner best suited each child. But we didn’t consider how we would accomplish that goal, other than by observing and listening to our children, and then offering them opportunities in accordance with their interests and talents.

Turns out, it’s a little more involved than that. The exhaustion of everyday life gets in the way of those observations, and it becomes difficult to sort out the salient points from all the endless chatter. While we’re doing our best to be mindful of our kids’ feedback, we could use a little help making sense of it.

Jenifer Fox’s book “Your Child’s Strengths” is going to provide that help - now and for years to come. Fox helps parents (and teachers too) identify children’s strengths by observing their actions and behaviors, and then use those strengths (and help children learn to use them too) to improve their learning and their relationships.

I have to admit that I flipped directly to the final section of the book - the strengths workbook. Even though my children are still quite young, I’m ready to start educating myself. I want to know how I can turn my everyday observations into opportunities to help my children (and in turn, help myself). Fortunately, although the workbook is geared toward somewhat older children, Fox has included boxes titled “For Young Children” that give suggestions as to how to modify the exercises accordingly.

The workbook starts with Activity Strengths. An activity strength is “something that makes a person feel good while he or she is doing it.” My kids are big bundles of activity, and they often play together despite their age difference, but I do notice which activities they prefer. Tacy loves to create and experiment, putting together old things in new ways. Disorder doesn’t bother her in the least. Meanwhile, CJ prefers routine and order, being able to predict what will happen. Although Tacy is more likely to agree to clean up, CJ actually seems to enjoy doing it - on her terms.

One exercise in the Activity Strengths section that I will try with the girls involves giving them a choice of three chores to complete, then noting which one is chosen and how easily it’s accomplished. I’m already a fan of choices - although lately I’ve been too exhausted to offer choices and have been giving orders instead - and I expect this exercise to be both interesting and telling. I also hope it will help me assign chores that will be done more cheerfully and with less nagging, which I know the whole family will appreciate.

The next section (to be completed AFTER the Activity Strengths section) is Relationship Strengths - “innate strengths to contribute to our relationships to make them more effective and rewarding.” This area is of great interest to me, as I know from experience that a large part of a child’s enjoyment of school is the social aspect of it. That is, even if they excel at schoolwork, recess can be hell. This section looks like it will be helpful in identifying why we pursue relationships, why we keep some and relinquish others, and what characteristics attract us to other people (and vice versa).The exercise in the Relationship Strengths section that caught my eye was one in which the child chooses a famous person - real or fictional - and brainstorms reasons why she “likes” that person. I think that’s a fantastic way for a child to begin understanding what characteristics attract them to a potential friend, as well as for them to consider which characteristics they’d like to emulate themselves.

The final section (to be completed after the first two - sequence is essential) is Learning Strengths, which are “the ways in which we prefer to learn and the mode in which we learn best.” This section was actually the easiest for me in which to see my kids. I immediately focused on the three modes of learning - kinesthetic, visual, and auditory. Kinesthetic learners learn best through movement and manipulation, visual learners learn by watching, and auditory learners learn by listening.

Tacy is definitely a visual learner, but she has kinesthetic leanings. That is, she is extremely observant regarding the world around her and remembers details of what she sees (such as what I was wearing on a particular day when we were engaged in a particular activity). But she’s also extremely interested in how things work - she’s not content to merely observe.

Conversely, CJ is definitely a kinesthetic learner, but I believe she has auditory leanings. She is very active - loves building and doing puzzles and touching absolutely everything. While I have to tell her “no touch!” more often than I’d like, I realize that’s how she prefers to explore. But I’ve been surprised by how closely she pays attention to what we say, given her speech delays. She understands quite well, and she’s beginning to verbalize the connections that she’s made.

Considering how different my girls are (and how different I’m sure their younger brother will be too), I’m especially glad to have “Your Child’s Strengths” as a resource to help me identify and address their individual strengths. Even though they’re still young, I’m excited to begin exploring the exercises in the workbook.

I would recommend this book to any parent of a child still living at home. It’s never too early to begin doing your homework, and it’s never too late to begin helping your child learn how to help himself by using his own unique strengths.

To get your own copy of “Your Child’s Strengths”, click here. To learn more about Jenifer Fox, check out her website.

I’ve lived in Colorado for almost three years now, and I’m still struck by the wideness of the skies here. It’s fascinating to me that I can see all the way from the mountains in the west to the plains in the east. Even now, I keep expecting to find a skyline obstructing my view.

Back east, the skies were narrow strips of blue (or, more often, gray) directly overhead. At night, I couldn’t see the stars or the moon. Even from our apartment in New Jersey, with its panoramic view, I could see more skyscrapers than sky.

I loved the city, and I still hope to live there again someday, but I have to admit that often, it felt equally both inspiring and oppressive.

But after reading Felicia Sullivan’s memoir, The Sky Isn’t Visible From Here, I realized that my hard times in the city are a walk in Central Park compared to the difficulties she endured there - first as a child growing up in Brooklyn, and later as a young professional in Manhattan.

Her tales of working-class life in Brooklyn with a single mother who moved from job to job (and man to man) were disheartening at best, horrifying at worst. While I was shocked by the descriptions of the drug use and sex she witnessed even as a young child, I was saddened most by her increasing need to wall herself off from the people closest to her - friends, family, and her own mother - as they continually betrayed her. As I told Felicia, I wished we were back in sixth grade so that I could invite her over for dinner and a sleepover.

Likewise, her stories of professional and social life in Manhattan resonated with me as well. While copious quantities of alcohol were as far as I went, I still struggled to cope with the peaks and valleys inherent to living and working in New York - particularly in a technical field at the height of the dot-com boom (and subsequent bust). It was a time that seemed to push many people toward addictive and destructive behaviors. Some of us got off easy; and some, like Felicia, bottomed out before recovering.

The memoir is written not in strict chronological fashion. Rather, Felicia alternates between excerpts from her childhood and from her young adulthood. This juxtaposition of time periods adds both interest and suspense - at the end of each excerpt, I looked forward to the continuation of the excerpt that had come before - and kept the pace from bogging down (as I’ve found that it often does in chronologically-told histories).

While it’s heartening to me that Felicia has found a father in Gus - her mother’s former fiance, one of many people she has left behind - it’s heartbreaking to read about her relationship with her mother.  As a mother myself, I honestly can’t imagine treating a child so carelessly.  I can’t imagine being the child of such a mother - the conflicting emotions I know I would have were I in Felicia’s position.

Even so, it’s the final chapter, titled “Before Cocaine”, that makes me the saddest of all - a day spent with her mother at Coney Island in 1984.  The fun that they had together is overshadowed by Felicia’s desire to tell her mother that she loves her, but she resists, afraid that by doing so, she will spoil the closeness they’ve shared that day.  The idea that one of my children might ever be afraid to tell me that they love me is almost unfathomable.

I don’t know if Felicia’s relationship with her mother could ever be salvaged, or if the sadness of her childhood could ever be overcome, but I admire her for having the courage to write such an honest account of her pain.  I can only hope that by doing so, she has been able to make peace with her past.

To purchase your own copy of The Sky Isn’t Visible From Here, click here.