While I’m not currently pregnant, nor planning to become pregnant again, I recently read a book about pregnancy that struck me as revolutionary - revolutionary because it focuses not solely on the physical health of the baby, but on the physical and emotional health of the mother as well.  I read my share of pregnancy tomes, and rarely if ever did I see the mother’s health taken into consideration, except as it directly impacted the health of the developing baby.  And the mother’s emotional health - her feelings about pregnancy and impending motherhood - simply was not discussed.  Furthermore, medical guidance is usually presented as paramount, without teaching mothers-to-be to listen to their own bodies as well.

Body, Soul, and Baby, written by Dr. Tracy W. Gaudet, is an all-encompassing resource for anyone on the “fertility pathway”, as Dr. Gaudet terms the timeframe between pre-conception and post-partum.  The author is the director of the Duke Center for Integrative Medicine, as well as a practicing board-certified OB-GYN, and her view of pregnancy is that since it is typically not a disease-state, it merits a different approach than other medical conditions.

I reflected back on both of my pregnancies while reading Body, Soul, and Baby, and it reaffirmed many of the choices I made.  I was fortunate to have excellent medical care at the Weill Cornell Medical Center on the upper east side of Manhattan, and both of my OB-GYNs (Caitlin Fiss and Robin Kalish) were kind and compassionate young women whom I missed greatly after I delivered and no longer saw them regularly.  I always felt that I could speak openly with them - despite their busy schedules - and that they treated me with respect.

During my first pregnancy, a host of external distractions (like terrorist attacks and threatened and actual firings) kept me from focusing as closely as I should have on my emotional health.  I also didn’t have family nearby or an adequate support network.  And while Kyle was wonderful, he had his own worries too.  Tacy was born via c-section at 41 weeks 5 days, after 30 hours of pitocin-induced labor - during which I progressed to a whopping 3cm.

While my physical recovery, even with a c-section, was a breeze - I walked home from the hospital and strolled Tacy to Central Park two days later - my emotional health was in trouble.  After all the external stressors during my pregnancy, as well as a move from the city to New Jersey at 6 weeks post-partum, I needed help.  Anti-depressants worked wonders, as did the passage of time (and a baby who learned to suck her thumb and sleep through the night).

I took the lessons of my first pregnancy to heart, especially those that pertained to my emotional health.  While I stopped the anti-depressants prior to conception (but resumed them after the 20-week ultrasound), I began seeing a psychiatry resident through the Payne Whitney Women’s Program at Weill Cornell.  Dr. Fiss - who saw me once during my second pregnancy (before she was put on bed rest due to her own pregnancy complications) - recommended the clinic (founded by her friend, Dr. Catherine Birndorf).  It was an invaluable resource for me, along with my online support network of working moms - and Kyle too, of course.

In light of my labor and delivery woes the first time around, and my easy-breezy physical recovery, Dr. Kalish and I agreed on a scheduled c-section for my second delivery.  While I never lost sight of the fact that I was undergoing surgery, I have to say that my second delivery was infinitely more pleasant than the first.  I was rested and relaxed, smiling and eagerly anticipating my new baby.  And I was fortunate to have another ideal recovery - both physically and emotionally.

While I’m not familiar with most types of alternative medicine - either in theory or in practice - I might have been willing to try some different options (such as hypnosis) if my pregnancies had been more difficult.  As it was, self-induced mind-over-matter strategies worked very well for me.  I was cognizant of what my body (and, the second time, my mind as well) was feeling and what it needed.  And with the help of my doctors, I felt able to make conscious decisions each step of the way.

To me, that’s the crux of Dr. Gaudet’s book.  Not that there’s a right way or a wrong way to manage a pregnancy, but that each woman’s situation differs so greatly - even from her previous pregnancies - that all points must be considered when making decisions.  Also, a woman should not leave all decisions entirely up to her doctor, or submit to guidance without asking questions and feeling comfortable with the prescribed course of action.  Not only does she do herself a disservice, but her doctor as well - she’s unintentionally withholding information about her own feelings that might be crucial to the doctor’s assessment of her condition.  Personally, in retrospect, I feel as if I should have given Dr. Fiss more information about my mental state and my emotional health - information that would have helped her better determine my risk for post-partum depression.

I would highly recommend this book to any woman of child-bearing age, and I would also suggest it to grandmothers-to-be as a gift to their daughters or daughters-in-law.  Even after the fact, I found it infinitely more helpful and reassuring than any other book I read while pregnant.  Furthermore, I would suggest it to other practicing OB-GYNs as a resource for advising their patients of the multitudes of non-invasive options for managing pregnancy and making it as wonderful an experience as possible.

To buy your own copy of Body, Soul, and Baby - click here.

Saturday afternoons at our house usually aren’t very exciting, especially when we’ve had snow for the past six weeks straight and would prefer to lounge around with SpongeBob.  But this past Saturday, we had big plans - thanks to The Parent Bloggers Network and the fantastic people behind Baby Loves Disco.

The Denver show was held at the Gothic Theatre, and being the eager beavers that we are, we arrived right on time to get the party started.  We’d never been to the Gothic before, but it’s apparently a venue for small indie shows or old skool revival shows.

We piled our coats and bags on a couple chairs and headed straight for the dance floor - an open area in front of the stage where the DJ was set up in front of a huge screen where “Fantasia” was playing.  There were baskets of egg shakers and filmy scarves up there, along with mini hula hoops and helium-filled balloons tied to the edge of the stage.

The girls took a while to warm up on the dance floor.  Like mother, like daughters - they waited until it was a bit more crowded before shaking their groove thangs.  Once the kids started untying the balloons, they both enjoyed bouncing around with those - and even when CJ let go of hers and watched it float up to the high ceiling while whimpering “Bah-oooooon!”, there were plenty of others to take its place.

I think the girls really enjoyed watching Kyle and me dance, and all four of us loved watching all the other kids and parents dancing together.  I loved how so many parents were out on the floor with their kids, not sitting back at the tables, watching from afar.

The music was great too - classic 70s disco, with a few 80s tunes mixed in for good measure.  At one point, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I heard a song that I really liked, and I rushed back to the dance floor - just like I used to do at clubs in high school and college.  It’s fun to feel that way again, even if you’ve got a toddler in tow.

Our only disappointment with the music was that they didn’t play any ABBA!  How can you call it a disco if there’s no ABBA?!  Then again, I didn’t ask if the DJ was taking requests, so perhaps next time I’ll just have to make it known that I expect to hear ABBA.

I was blown away by the food - what a spread!  The show was catered by Wild Oats, and while we’re not opposed to whole foods, we’re kind of cheap.  I don’t think any of us had ever eaten that much organic food in one sitting.  But it was all delicious (except for the Veggie Booty - I stay far, FAR away from Veggie Booty), and I might actually feel a bit healthier today.

After they wore themselves out dancing, the girls settled down with Kyle and read a book together.  They had tents filled with pillows, surrounded by books and small toys, for the kids who were ready to take a break.  Plus, they had diaper-changing stations set up, with cushioned pads and wipes - especially welcome in a venue where it’s almost certain that the restrooms won’t have changing tables.

Each child got a party favor - Baby Legs legwarmers, which can be worn on the legs or on the arms.  Tacy’s already got a pair, thanks to Cool Mom Picks, and now we’ve got two more.  I’ll take that kind of party favor over a plastic bag full of plastic toys any day.

What Kyle and I both noticed and appreciated greatly was that the event was truly a family affair.  Lots of dads - and not just sitting back at the tables, nursing pints of beer, but out on the dance floor with their kids.  We saw such a cross-section of families and children of all ages - even a teeny tiny baby in a sling.  It was comforting to see that Denver really does have a great deal of diversity.

We’re already planning to head back to the Gothic in February for the next show - Tacy’s already asking me how long she has to wait until the next one, and I hope to work with the Denver host mom to spread the word even further.